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“In My Feels” Selling: Managing Emotions In The Buyer’s Journey

By Gina Trimarco, Chief Results Officer

Want a competitive advantage in sales? Understand when your buyers are “in my feels”. Buying is emotional. We all know this. Your buyers often come from a place of fear of making a bad buying decision. It’s also a good reminder that selling also is emotional. More importantly, recognize when you yourself are “in my feels”. As a seller you might be afraid of not closing the deal because your job, business and life depend on it. Both parties have their own personal agendas – to ultimately be successful, look like a rockstar and FEEL amazing.

As in any type of relationship there has to be give and take. Like a dance, someone is leading and someone is following. As the seller, you will lead the buyer on a journey but if you forget to let the buyer do some of the leading, you will step on toes and the dance will be painfully over.

So, how do you become a better dancer is this emotional relationship?

Simple. Increase your emotional intelligence (EQ) – the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. This first requires self-awareness of one’s triggers as well as being able to self-empathize. The more self-aware you are, the better you will become at social awareness of others to recognize their emotional reactions and needs.

How do you get better at emotional intelligence?

Continue to work on self-awareness and self-empathy and then start working on your ability to actively listen to and sincerely be curious about others. Before shoving your product or service down your prospects’ throats, take the time to have real conversations with them beyond the generalities of their businesses and your products and services. Find common ground and create a connection. Learn what inspires and worries them. Be a supportive friend to cheer them on and listen to their problems.

And remember, most everyone has a need to be loved, no matter the type of relationship. Dance your way into their hearts and all parties will profit.

Another great way to improve your emotional intelligence is through improv-based training which re-trains the brain to be more human again through active listening, observation, validation and collaboration skills – everything improv performers do to connect with each other on stage and with their audience. Check out our video series Spontaneous Selling 1.0 to learn more.

Some great books to check out to help you:

Other Resources

– Gina


Gina Trimarco, CEO/Founder of Pivot10 Results and Carolina Improv Company, is a serial entrepreneur with 25 years of experience in marketing, sales, operations and people training. A Chicago native, she was recruited to Myrtle Beach South Carolina in 2007 to take over an IMAX theater after successfully turning around the one at Navy Pier. When the economy crashed in 2008 she opted to do something seemingly impossible to many by starting an unproven concept business instead of finding a new job. That business, Carolina Improv Company (CIC), has been #1 on TripAdvisor for Nightlife Attractions in Myrtle Beach, SC since 2010. Soon after that she founded Pivot10 Results, a training and strategy company that helps businesses and executives shift from people problems to performance results. through soft skills training and coaching. She graduated from DePaul University and studied at Second City while pursuing her degree in Communications. Trimarco produces and hosts two podcasts: The Pivotal Leader is and Women Your Mother Warned You About. She also is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council, a contributor to and, as well as a Vistage Worldwide member and official Vistage Worldwide speaker.